So, it’s only been almost two weeks with this clean-eating thing, but that’s a lot (for me) when I think about it. Seriously. No sugar, salt or carbs for nearly 14 days. In my life, that’s huge.
My husband has been super supportive of this endeavor. He decided not to join me because he thinks I’m crazy doesn’t like vegetables didn’t want to go quite this far, but he has cut way back on sugar, processed stuff, and has pretty much given up pop. In any event, he has been quite the cheerleader.
He asked me the other day what my goals were with this detox. Sure, there was a time limit, a “finish line” but what was the point and where was I going? Kick off better habits? Lose weight?
Hmm… He made me think. Why am I doing this? Truly?
There are the pat answers about wanting to feel better and get back on track. That’s all true, as far as it goes. But there are probably far “easier” ways to do that.
The truth is, at least initially, the detox probably had more to do with weight loss than I wanted to admit. I have gained and lost the same 5 lbs over the last year, which is generally what maintenance has always looked like to me. I never had a “goal weight” I set out to hit in 2011, but yet, I never quite felt done either.
Yet, it wasn’t just the weight. I knew I had slipped back into some unhealthy habits and didn’t want my old ways sneaking up on me even further. It seemed like a more drastic plan to shake things up would knock me upside the head and get me back on track.
But what are my goals now? Frankly, at this point I am just trying not to give up. : / It’s become less about losing weight and more about regaining basic discipline… I think?
I admit I’m feeling pretty good overall, but I’m not convinced (at this point) that I can/want to/should eat or live this way long-term (just to clarify, by “this way” I don’t mean the strictness of this detox, I mean a more general paleo lifestyle). I DO think I can and should get by with far fewer carbs and processed food than I’m used to and that we should move towards that as a family goal (not cutting completely, but reduction). I also realize how mindlessly I allow myself to eat and how I’ve forgotten what real hunger cues feel like.
Additionally, in a recent conversation with a friend, I’ve realized that (generally) my cravings have changed. I’m really missing things like beans and quinoa, perhaps more so than chocolate chip cookies! Wow.
So, if that’s all I take away from this, it’s still a lot. I lost a lot of weight and kept it off because I didn’t “diet” and frankly (right now) this still feels like a diet. Maybe if I did it longer it wouldn’t. I know lots of people live this way (or close) as a way of life and are healthier for it. But I suspect that most of those people are surrounded or at least regularly exposed to others that chose a similar lifestyle (for example, it’s pretty popular among those who Cross Fit). I’m not. And I’m not sure I can do this by myself long-term (and – again – by “this” I mean a more paleo-esque diet rather than this specific challenge). BUT would it kills us (as a family) to eat more sweet potatoes and quinoa and less white potatoes/rice/sandwiches etc? Nope. Can we do without granola bars full of sugar every day? More veggies (and not just for dinner)? All excellent habits.
All of that is a change in mindset. A change in what is “normal.” And THAT is for the good.
That being said, I am still rather confident that a sprinkle of salt on my eggs and teaspoon of sugar in my coffee makes me enjoy my food more, and that’s okay too. 
I can (and will!) do without for a few more weeks, but I do plan to allow myself to enjoy things in moderation.
I realize that I had forgotten what moderation was. It’s nice to have found it again.
Have you ever had to readjust your goals during a “diet” or a change in lifestyle?
Did you find that your reasons for starting changed as time passed?
